Welcome to my blog, and I hope you can take some useful thoughts away when you leave! 🙂
It strikes me so often how many women out in public, will say such disparaging things about their husbands. I am talking about throwaway, bantering type remarks. Last night, at a toney banquet for high-level charity donors, two women at my table were guilty of tearing their men down — for no good reason, and out-of-the-blue.
One of the culprits, whom I had barely met, said something like, “…and so now I’m living up here with him.” This doesn’t sound bad, but the context of eye-rolling, elbow nudging, and facial expression said it all. She was mocking the man. What a teardown as in “The foolish woman tears down her own house.”
How different it would have been if she’d said something affirming, respectful, or encouraging. (By the way, she proceeded to get blitzed and embarrassed her man further with her loudness.)
The other woman, who said they had a “yours, mine and ours” family with six children, had nothing good to say about her man, either. Just chit-chatting about things like “how long have you been married” brought out of her mouth the words, “I’m stuck with him.” This was in his earshot. He was a successful businessman, she was able to be an at-home mom. Wow. What’s to complain about? So instead of building him up, she shoots out a remark like that, to me, somebody she’d never even seen before last night.
Hey, your husband probably isn’t perfect, but what would it cost to say something complimentary? Something like, “He puts up with me” (if you have to banter) or “We muddle through together now” (if you have to be self-disparaging), or even “He’s brought great security to my life” or “he’s great”.
It doesn’t take much to build them up – if we don’t who will? The world? Another woman? Just saying.