Greetings. I have the privilege to have a friend with a large family (which equals lots of experience) who is nearing the end of her hands-on parenting years. My dear friends “SB” consented to expound on some of her own hard-earned parenting lessons. She shares her wisdom for our benefit. I agree with her perspective, and am excited to have these pearls to share. I will be publishing her thoughts in four parts. Here is the 2nd:
3. I would also use more of a variety of “tools” for disciplining and instructing a child so that the use of spankings would be much rarer and used only as a last resort “tool.” I have heard the reports of some Christian parents who learned about using a variety of other “tools/techniques” for correcting their children and not relying too much on spanking while mid-stream in their parenting years and how this truly helped them and all their children grew up to be wonderful people and Christians.
One Christian dad said he and his wife never used spankings with any of their children because the other “tools” they used for correcting worked, and they simply did not need to spank. All their children are adults and very healthy, loving, dedicated Christians. So I do believe this is not just idealistic thinking, but a real, practical help to families when a variety of loving “tools” for discipline and correction are used as first measures.
Our Heavenly Father is such a wonderful God of great variety and creativity in all the ways He has used to instruct me throughout my life. I would want to be far more creative with the discipline and instruction of our own children through much prayer for wisdom in this. I would focus even more on building a joyful, loving relationship with each child that is wrapped in grace.
I would have loved to have had some outstanding grace-focused books filled with wonderful biblical principles for parents before our first was even born that are available now for parents such as Ross Campbell’s books, Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller’s books and resources, Clay and Sally Clarkson’s books (including Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson), and the book by Elyse Fiztpatrick and Jessica Thompson entitled Give Them Grace to name a few.